Hat and Fat #99 – Pet Ordinance

Sorry this was late…it was unavoidable. With winter storms and computer viruses it seemed a higher force was trying to delay the inevitable strip 100. But you can’t stop me! Do you hear me Higher Force? I WON’T BE STOPPED!


14 comments on “Hat and Fat #99 – Pet Ordinance”

  1. Hahaha! Good thing the zombie has no arms or teeth! I guess you could feed him gummy worms :OP

  2. What a great pet! Looking forward to the 100th!!

  3. I want a pet like that. However, I think I’ll hire someone else to feed him. 😉

  4. That comic was off the chain, bro!

  5. Man, what does a cannibal feed his pretty zombie anyway. Seems like a conflict of interests would arise over who gets the brain.

    WARNING – Long Story Ahead:
    I know what you mean about that higher force thing. That happened to me on a biblical scale while doing the guest art for Axton’s ZOMBIE OAKS #Guestapolooza last summer. I actually spent a lot of time reworking the line art up until like a day before the deadline. So I didn’t even procrastinate, just kinda got obsessed with getting the drawing just right. So that was my fault for letting myself get carried away with mania to the point of creating an unnecessary time crunch. I was determined though, even if I had to miss a night of sleep. But, alas, my laptop I was using to color it in Photoshop crashed. So lost more time trying whatever frantic CPU CPR <-(ha! just made that up right now; kinda catchy) & other mythological panic induced incantations I could imagine, but to no avail. Well, I had agreed to house sit for my friend that weekend & ended up losing track of time messing with my computer all day that not only was I neglecting my duties to let out the dogs & – ya know – feed them and stuff, that it dawned on me that I could've been using Photoshop on his computer the whole time. So I don't get too his house until early evening, rescanned the line art and started coloring again. Making good progress & Photoshop froze up. And it wouldn't respond. So I had to shut it down and restart it. And…. I had broken the cardinal rule of computing – ESPECIALLY WITH PHOTSHOP – & had not saved a thing since I got there. Couldn't find any of the work as an draft or in history. No signs its existence were to be found. Now I'm doomed. It's about 10 @ night, on the Friday it was due, the big grand finale from CANDY TRiP™ was way overdue. So I messaged Axton to inform him that I was indeed working on it, and he was super cool telling me he had plenty of beer left to go before his night was through and due to our timezones, I had until 3am to finish for him to post on time. So I started over AGAIN, at about 11pm. Worked diligently and constantly hit Save. The time flew, let me tell you. I had worked so hard, so many days, and had so many problems, turning in anything less than the best just seemed outrageously insane. I messaged him the solemn status update with deep apologies as my 3:00am deadline was on the horizon and I knew I had too much left to do. Again he was cool and told me not to worry. I got a new deadline for Saturday morning. I worked the whole night through, which turned out to be counter productive. Because my brain was giving me technical difficulties due to sleep deprivation and stress. I started making stupid mistakes that destroyed the work from over working it so much I'd surpass the revision history point where it had last been presentable. And the sun was up and I was giving out mentally, it looked horrible because of mistakes upon mistakes. And I couldn't stay up any longer, much less finish it with a sufficient level of quality I felt Axton deserved, that I owed, and knew I could do.It was garbage at that point, so I thought I'd take a power nap and finish it up in the afternoon. Well, it was an awful long power nap — pretty much all day. My friend got back so I saved what I'd done, out my laptop in the shop for about 3 days, work was busy that week so even when I got it back I had no time to work on it, no energy when I had time, and so on. My spirits were low with an unfinished piece of guest art about half a week past due. But I had a day where work was unexpectedly cancelled so I knew I'd have a full day to finish it. It was no longer about a schedule, it was about a battle with the gods, or higher forces as you. That turned out to be furiously true. That night I was nearing completion and was getting excited to send Axton an email with the artwork attached. But a thunderstorm blew in and I paid it little mind until it knocked out the electricity. This is shoved me violently into an impossible emotional state to explain. Think Ren Hoek losing his mind, which happened quite often on Ren & Stimpy, but one epic scene from the episode "Sven Hoek" (if you or your visitors haven't seen this, I strongly suggest looking it up on YouTube; just that one scene will do). It's the one where Ren's brother from Sweden comes to visit and tirns out to be just like Stimpy. Well at the climax Ren snaps in the most fascinating way ever to be animated. Well that depiction of his psychotic breakdown is the closest I can come to explaining how I felt, sitting in the dark, with a laptop that had a written out battery. It wasn't one of those one minute power outages either. Ohhh no. It was about an hour later that it dawned on me that an hour had passed while my unhinged sanity paralyzed me in a catatonic state of disbelief, worn out frustration, silent outrage, and an unstable sense of dysfunctional need to laugh, cry, shout, punch a robot, and get up on the roof in the rain & the wind & the lightening. hold up a long and menacing metal dagger while shouting over the roaring of thunder to whatever forces that be, "I AM AHAB!" Of course, I didn't do all that, but that illustrates vaguely how I felt. I used my phone to message Axton & anyone else in the cyber world that might care that I was nearly finished and storm, blah blah… He responded with sense of shock & awe. So, I finally finished, still not to my complete satisfaction, but got it sent. Ecactly 1 week overdue.
    So that's my story. Yes, there are forces that are strong, strange, & mad. And sometimes they feel the need to act like buttholes.
    – THE END –

    Sorry for the excessively long comment. And it's not to 1 up you. But, the story was relevant and needed to be told. I have never fully explained the scenario until now. So, I offer it as a strange kind of gift – like a puppy with rabies or something. Here ya go folks. You saw it here first, on a comment that's longer than most entire threads. But that's what happens sometimes when CANDY TRiP™ stops by http://www.thehatandfat.wordpress.com to say hi. So… Hi!
    Bye now.

    – Doug Cook

    • And … scene! Excellent! I think you really captured it there. Full on mental, my friend. Full on.

      Nah, that’s a crazy story though, and the worst part is it was guest art so you have the added pressure of, “Yeah, this creator is telling me it’s cool, but WHAT is he really thinking?” Axton, probably didn’t care, so you got lucky there.

      You did better than me though, I’d of most likely handed in the towel and just sent a sincere, I’m really sorry.

      But since you asked about the feeding and conflict over the brain let me give you an analogy. My dog and I both love steak, the difference is the dog only gets what I don’t want.

      • Yeah, I had momentary waves of pointlessness despair & failure, but it had rolled into such a huge yellow snowball, I was like Rocky just taking the pummeling & waiting it out as misfortune wore itself out… I just couldn’t drop it after all that. And yes, that whole guest factor was a brutal motivator. Like Full Metal Jacket style!
        Anyway, I thought thru similar analogies like the steak example. But the part I felt is a critical difference is zombies have opposable thumbs, and relentless determination. Most dogs can’t open the fridge, but a zombie will seek that putrid wreak of skull meat and have the ability to facilitate a clumsy heist while a dog…. ya know, is usually physically limited. And, while I’m sure Hat & Fat can hold their own, zombies are relentless and if their master doesn’t share the good stuff, really the primary, if not exclusive, food source of zombies, they will naturally be in a constant fixated obsession in just gouging out the cranium beef within Hat & Fat’s own heads. It’s kinda funny as a concept itself to have a pet zombie, but the angle of having that pet zombie always trying to eat your brain, is a potentially laughable facet.

        Eagerly awaiting the #100 along with the rest of your anxious audience.

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